It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
