just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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