Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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