Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
