No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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