Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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