I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
