:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
