Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
