It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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