You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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