Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
