If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
