She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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