my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
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Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
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Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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