I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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