paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
