Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
