Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
