is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
