so that wasnt chicken after all
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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