i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
