omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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