what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
