so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
