Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
