Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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