just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
