Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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