Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
