so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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