apparently the secret to your success is patron
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize