so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
