if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
