so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
