I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
time to smoke my breakfast
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize