he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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