so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
