we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
