you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
