i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
