So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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