Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude that chick in the corner just threw up

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Hot

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  (215): Dude that chick in the corner just threw up (201): Hot http://tfl.nu/kiil
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (1067)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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  (630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum. http://tfl.nu/5o8q
  Replies (9) Good night (4510) Bad night (884)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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  (630): week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/1sz9
  Replies (37) Good night (4668) Bad night (818)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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  (253): I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer http://tfl.nu/v4f1
  Replies (32) Good night (5620) Bad night (1285)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

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  (817): So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/gzma
  Replies (27) Good night (1139) Bad night (4270)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

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  (913): I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me http://tfl.nu/t8we
  Replies (22) Good night (6738) Bad night (1080)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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  (413): your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often http://tfl.nu/h345
  Replies (5) Good night (3245) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.

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  (978): Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen. http://tfl.nu/nx95
  Replies (10) Good night (4124) Bad night (894)
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  (530): View more from California

  And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?

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  (530): And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion? http://tfl.nu/zsah
  Replies (6) Good night (1960) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass

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  (903): I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass http://tfl.nu/h4q0
  Replies (10) Good night (3398) Bad night (862)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.

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  (205): Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/g7ht
  Replies (6) Good night (3601) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.

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  (619): No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch. http://tfl.nu/4axa
  Replies (6) Good night (3249) Bad night (656)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon

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  (651): Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon http://tfl.nu/o3ou
  Replies (5) Good night (1275) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.

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  (815): YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS. http://tfl.nu/33fz
  Replies (9) Good night (1066) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Booty calls should never involve the cops.

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  (936): Booty calls should never involve the cops. http://tfl.nu/8hes
  Replies (4) Good night (543) Bad night (430)

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