i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.