how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
