There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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