Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize