After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
