I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
