You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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