I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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