don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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