AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
