omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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