We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
