Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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