bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
