I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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