she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
