I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
