he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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