u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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