You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
