i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i love accidental penises.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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