are you still at the devil's house?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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