I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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